Monday, May 21, 2012

Birthday Blues

Cutie Pie is officially ten months old.  I cannot believe how fast the time has gone.  I have several other friends with kids around my daughter's age and they are all busy planning first birthday parties, and as excited as I am for them I am equally sad for us.  I don't think we are going to even attempt a birthday party for Cutie Pie.  I don't think it is fair to invite a bunch of people over to our house (we don't have family in the area, so if family were to come it would be for more than a short party) and serve them a bunch of food that Cutie Pie nor I can eat.  And then there is the problem of the birthday cake.  As of right now, we have no ingredients to make a cake and get those precious cake smash photos.  I have seen several ideas on how to sculpt watermelon into a "cake" which I do plan on doing, although despite dedicating 10 days to trialing watermelon with Cutie Pie she never would eat enough to actually declare it a pass or fail.  But it's just not the same.  Plus, I feel like a lot of our friends and family do not really understand what we are up against with FPIES, and honestly there are days when I don't understand it myself.  I hate answering a million versions of the same questions and hearing a ton of those stupid 'I'm-trying-to-be-supportive-but-I-don't-know-how" comments.  My favorite comment of all time is this:

Maybe she'll outgrow it. 

Maybe, maybe not.  She might grow out of all or some of her triggers.  She might not.  No one really knows.  What we do know though, is that when she turns three we will do in-hospital trials of her biggest triggers with an IV in place just in case.  Have you ever watched them put an IV in a three year old?  I have.  It is not fun.  Nor would it be fun if she hasn't outgrown it and ends up puking herself into shock.  And although it is possible she would be fine, right now she is very sick.  Right now.  You know.  Today, tomorrow and next month we will still be dealing with this.  And it sucks.  A lot. 

But you know what?  She is still the cutest baby I've ever met.  She is smart and sweet and stubborn as hell.  and I love that little girl and would do this all over again just to be able to have her in my arms.  And just because I can, I'll show you just how cute this FPIES cutie is!

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