Today has been a rough day for me. I am so tired of trying to do it all. I've been snappy with my kids, hateful to my husband, and I just feel like locking myself in the bathroom and crying. And it doesn't help that I ran out of diet coke yesterday. And then we drove through Wendy's for lunch and after making sure they understood I needed a HAMburger not a CHEESEburger. I get home to find my burger has cheese on it. Grr.
Earlier this evening I was thinking about how hard it is to be a good mom. I take pride in the fact that I am a good mom to my two babies. Cutie Pie and Little Man are lucky. I'm not perfect by any means, but dang it I'm pretty good. But in the right now I am semi-jealous of my lousy mom facebook friends. You all know the ones. They post pictures of themselves drinking and partying almost every day. They talk all the time about going out with friends and you know they leave their kids with whoever agrees to watch them. They don't even think twice about what their kids eat or drink. They post witty comments their kids say which usually includes cussing or mean-ness. They are the kind of moms you wonder how God would trust them with a child. They are the moms you KEEP as facebook friends just so you can remind yourself what a good job you are doing with your own kids.
But I think us "good" moms put waaaaaaaay too much pressure on ourselves. Today I cried numerous times because I am starting to seriously consider switching Cutie Pie to formula. I feel an incredible amount of guilt even thinking about it. Today it even got as far as looking at formula at the grocery store and *almost* buying a can to try. I mean here is this beautiful little girl who is nine months old and can eat all of five foods. She wakes up numerous times every night just needing to be held to feel better. She depends on me to keep her alive and I can't do a simple thing like skip some of the foods I enjoy eating?!?! How selfish is that of me?
I've always heard to never quit on a bad day and today was most definitely a bad day. Maybe tomorrow.